I am the princess who lives on the hill
Who loves you in return
Oh I'm so soft and I'm so safe and I'm so warm and I'm so loved and I'm so OKAY and I'm so free and I'm so safe and I'm so sound
And it's so wonderful because we have each other
Forever
Inside me is a river of bones
A quivering heart within an alabaster cage
Lungs beating like wings
There are bruises that have blushed the blood.
Inside me there is a gnawing void
Which neglect has starved
And pain has inspired
But his hands will heal
Inside me there are tempestuous thoughts
Cascading from ear to ear
Screaming their sour solicitations
Or jubilant calls
Inside me are fears that are flurries of passing ravens
Darkest plumage tessellate the walls and the floors and the doors of my mind
The sky yawns above
Whilst the birds cry for food
Inside me bleeds the pain of sentiment
Excruciating in its depth
Whether affection or despair
Within moments, always
Inside me are the ghosts of the past
Haunting the lowest recesses
Whispering in night’s silence
Their vapour stains
Inside me is a chasm of uncertainty
And I’m walking its valleys within
I don’t know where I’m going, how I became, why I can’t recognise my own labyrinth
Quite lost in an obscure place departed from consciousness of myself and seeking a way out
Until I find a guiding hand
Inside me is something new
Celestial promise of salvation in love
A sacred vessel
Quaking oceans
Within my skin
Dancing in my soul
Inside me is an embryo of a future
A vow of a dawn to come
The sun will rise as a phoenix
Born from us
One day we’ll fly far, far away
Inside me is him
Inside him is me
One divine entity
You would think I am a different person when I am with him. It is though my problems cease to exist; or, at least, they diminish to a degree to which they are no longer monsters in my mind and heart and soul. I am no longer a monster. I am no longer an emotional wreck: one moment elated and bright and lively, the next spinning into an escapable, impenetrable tunnel of absolute darkness until I am sunk in the very depths, lost and dead, paralysed by the totality of misery. I am no longer so volatile and on edge inside myself, as though I’m not even yet certain of what my next movement will turn out to be. I have no idea who I am - how on earth could I ever predict my actions or temperament? I am no longer riding on the cusp of perpetual anxiety: not only troubled the constant, dampening notion of the horrors that are bound to occur at any moment - my mother will leave me, everyone will leave me; but suffering the jarring evocations of the past - echoes of trauma pervade every room and plague my mind wherever I go. I am no longer so gripped, so utterly incapacitated by overwhelming terror at the sense of food; though a drifting cooking scent can stir my apprehensions and the plate in front of me will have me daunted motionless for perhaps twenty minutes or more there is a new sentiment which counters fear - a light, a love, a strength that will in time overcome the demonic force prowling in my skull. I am renewing. I am being born again. I am becoming me, and, for once, that is okay. I can tolerate my reality. My worries are drifting on a breeze somewhere beyond the space between us. There is a mellow ambience of healing somehow, when we are together. Nothing matters because we have each other.
The lovers sink quite gently under the tides of sleep amidst the protective lattice of one another's limbs. Though during the tossed course of slumber's wildest depths they may, for moments, part; come morning they will be found locked once more in their intertwining embrace: the velveteen petals of flesh blushing under the tenderness of their counterpart's kisses, the fusion of their polleny breaths composing the sweetest scent between them, this florescent wreath of the vine-like limbs clinging in some remarkable, coupled sculpture.
Beautiful
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